Man's Best Friend

 Like Karen Blixen reminiscing in "Out of Africa" with the opening lines 'I had a house in Africa at the foot of Ngong hills', I want to say "I had a dog of my own, longtime back......" I don't have a dog now. Maybe someday. But I do have memories of a few I was close to.

Moti (Pearl) was a community dog. He belonged to no-one in particular yet he belonged to everyone in our Wada/ Chawl in Pune. I don't remember this but I have anecdotes of me, as a toddler, poking my fingers into Moti's eyes and him just shifting a bit away, but not once getting annoyed or agitated by it. His days during the week as to the go-to family for meals were sort of fixed. Daytime with some families, every night at Joshi's home for milk-poli except on Thursdays. That day of week was my father's day off and we had mutton for dinner so Moti was our guest of honor for the delicacies of leftover bones etc. Every once in a while, there would be news going around that the municipality 'bevarshi shwan pathak' van picked up Moti and someone from the building would go to get him liberated, claiming ownership. Why someone didn't adopt him officially I don't know. But the fact that he was freed and brought back every time, showed his worth to all of us. I don't remember distinctly what happened to him. The building was demolished years back, a modern business complex sitting in its place now on FC Road. Hopefully he died in peace before that, his soul resting in peace.

Jedi was mine. He came to our home, in my college years, just a few weeks old. A chubby, cuddly puppy, with shiny brown coat, that I fed milk to and coaxed to sleep on my lap. He was a mix of some sort, breeds and all that stuff not a common knowledge among us back home then. His coat, ears and body structure made it clear he had some pedigree rather than being just a mongrel. I had just watched Star Wars movies and chose Jedi as his name. But we referred to him as JD (as in the initials). 

He would recognize my bike from far away and was ready to give his highly enthusiastic welcome (jumping and licking all over my face ) whenever I came home from outside. Once in a while when he somehow got loose, he would roam around the neighborhood, exploring the "gali ki kudiyan" and getting in fights with his competitors. Coming home was a bit hilarious affair, tail under his butt, head down, his behavior was like an errant child saying sorry, while I scolded and washed the mud off him. The bonding of love and friendship lasted for a few years, then for some logistical reasons we had to give him away to someone. It was a mistake I regret to this day. 

Sunny was our friend's, Sapre's dog. I came to know him early on, while we used to have Natak practices at their home. Thanks to Jedi I am comfortable around dogs and like to pet them. Sunny loved the nuzzling/ neck rub, laying down on his back and poking with his paws, asking for more, if I stopped. My relationship with him was somewhat like a visiting grandparent or uncle, not being the primary caregiver but an occasional visitor who will pamper you. Rarely had I visited Sapre's without being greeted by Sunny, without the rub atleast once. While his end was a tragic loss to all of us, I was glad I got a chance to say a proper goodbye to him before he left for wherever angels reside. 

Just a day or two back I was at my friend Prashant's house and while petting JJ, I suddenly realized I was calling him Sunny. A disrespect to JJ but I am sure he understands the feelings. I just need to move on and build more such friendships with these loving, loyal beings.

PS- Apart from the recent International Dog Day, these memories might also been triggered by a wonderful novel I read recently "The Friend" by Sigrid Nunez.

Suresh Nair

Aug 30, 2020

Locked at Home

2020 will be memorable in most of our minds due to COVID 19. There are very few events that impact the entire world in such a dramatic way within a short span of time. The fear and uncertainty of the virus, the spiraling case and death counts, the continuous doomsday type new cycles, the lock downs/stay-at-home orders, the impact to nations economy's and businesses will all stay in our minds for a long time to come.

At a personal level also there were a lot of life learning experiences as we stumbled, adjusted, explored and thrived in the situation as time went by. Here is a short video that I created about my stay-at-home experience.

Bhairavi

(When I wrote this story last year of course I had Kishori tai Amonkar in mind. I am saddened by her passing away. A heavenly voice has gone back to where it came from. But as it says in this story "Music is light; it will always be there passing from one day to other", her music will keep shining as bright as ever. My humblest tribute to a true artist)

Bhairavi

The concert was to begin at eight in the evening.  Almost fifteen hours still ahead of it. But the actual ceremony was supposed to start at seven. There would be the introductory speeches about the foundation with its purpose and objectives, the organizers behind it and the main sponsors. Then it would be time to introduce her, thanking her for agreeing to do the benefit concert, requesting her to come on stage and begin the concert. As usual there will always be the need to test the audio set up, adjust the levels to her appeasement, before she can even start with the first note.

Boats

Boats

I met her first time when we went to Das uncle. My Father and Das uncle were playing chess. She brought over coffee and some snacks for us. Bittu was sick so Mother and him did not come with us. If he would have been there then we would have either played with something or at least fought over something. We would have killed the time. But since I was alone, I got bored.

Then she took me to her room. On a table there were many paint bottles and brushes. And the walls were all covered with paintings. Most of the paintings had boats in them. Blue skies, mountains, blue-green water, water lilies, a pair of ducks and boats. Sometimes a lot of them floating on waves in a sea or an ocean, other times just a single boat on a lake.

“Did you paint these?” I asked.

“Yes” She said.

“You only know how to draw boats?”

She smiled. “No, I can draw a lot of other things. But I mostly love to draw boats”

“Why?”

“A boat floating on the waves in the water. How great it must feel to sit and sway in it. As if you are in your mother’s arms. You can use the oars if you feel like it or just let the wind take you somewhere on its own. Who knows what shore you may reach, what you may see. Will you come with me?

“I don’t know. Daddy may scold me.”

“Ok, then. But could you at least come with me so we can let the boats flow in rushing rainwater? When I was small, whenever it rained I used to make boats and send them floating on water and running after them. They were just paper boats. After going a little far they used to stop, getting stuck somewhere and after going in circles couple of times, they used to drown away. I used to cry a lot and Mummy would have a hard time pacifying me”

“It’s no big deal, you can just make another one.” I said.

“Will you make some for me?”

“Yes,  Sure. Give me some paper. But it’s not yet time for rain so we can’t float them in rainwater.”

“Then we will wait for the rains to come……”

She gave me a nice colorful square paper. I folded it twice making it into a boat and gave it to her.

“Wow, beautiful. It’s so nice. Make some more for me when you come next time.”

Then Daddy called and we started for home. I looked back and saw her standing outside the door, with the boat in her hand.

After that we went to their home many times. Sometimes Gandhekaka used to come as well with his dog named Chinku.  When Father and Das Uncle were playing chess, Gandhekaka made me play with him. Maybe he wasn’t as good of a player as Father or Das Uncle. She used to take Chinku out. He was very fond of her and used to play with her a lot.

Every time I used to make some boats for her that I had learned from others. Except for a little difference most of them were all alike but they had different names such as bambi boat, anchor boat, sail boat. She always showed surprise and amazement with wide eyes when I showed her how to make those boats and she then used to keep them on a shelf. All the boats I gave her were neatly lined up on the shelf. There were also many new paintings on the wall, with some boats very much like the boats I had made. At least that’s what I imagined.

Sometimes we used to play a game. We used to pretend that we were in a boat and with closed eyes imagine what all we were seeing as we floated by. We used to describe in rich details flower gardens, orchards, jungles with animals and weird, scary beasts, tiny villages and big towns. It was a lot of fun to play that game.

Once we went over and I saw a beautiful boat made of wood, with delicate, exquisite carving on it. It was on the same shelf where my boats were sitting, occupying the center most space. I asked her who gave it and she said someone gave it to her as a birthday gift.

“One of the girls from your childhood?” I asked

She smiled “No, a new friend who is a man. Just like you. But no one knows about him. It’s…..our secret and now only you know it. Don’t tell anyone yet. You won’t, right?”

I just shook my head saying I won’t. But all the time I kept looking at that boat. My paper boats looked so simple and childish aside that wonderful boat.

Not too long after that they all came to us for dinner. Gandhekaka also came with Chinku. Bittu said she was get married and going somewhere far off to another country. He always overhears other people’s conversations and keeps telling everyone about it.

Everyone was speaking a lot with each other. She also talked a lot, more than usual and louder than other times I thought. She even played with Chinku. But she didn’t speak with me. In fact I didn’t say much to anyone. Only when Das uncle asked me one question twice, she said, ”Daddy, You are a bit too much”. When they were ready to go, everyone went to the door to say goodbye. She hugged and waved a lot and kept saying “Bye Uncle, Bye Aunty, Bye Bittu, Bye Chinku”. Then she didn’t say anything and just left.

After a while Father again took me to Das Uncle but she had left the country by then. Uncle said there was something for me in her room. I went and saw that all pictures on the wall and the paint bottles and brushes on the table were gone. There was a box on the table. I opened the box and saw the wooden boat and a pack of color papers, new and unopened. I glanced at the shelf and saw that it was empty.

Once we came home, I kept the box in the lower shelf in my room and kept some of my old story books on top. Bittu likes to play a lot but he isn’t that interested in reading.

That year it did not rain until very late in the season. And when it did, there were only some weak showers. The water never gushed and flowed strongly. The pack of color papers remained unopened. No boats were made. But I know how to make a lot of boats, bambi boat, anchor boat, sail boat and a normal boat……

Suresh Nair

6/26/2016

(This story is based on a Marathi poem “Hodya” written by Hemant Govind Joglekar. The poem is beautiful, evocative and abstract. I tried to fill the gaps with an imagined narrative, weaving a story together, while still trying to keep the full essence of the poem intact.)

सखाराम बाईंडर (Sakharam Binder – A Synopsis)

Recently I got to watch 'Sakharam Binder', a controversial Marathi play by Vijay Tendulkar. It was first brought on stage in 1972 by Kamlakar Sarang, amidst much controversy. I got to watch a recent production of the play in video version and thought of jotting down my thoughts on the play.

The play has three central characters, Sakharam Binder, Laxmi and Champa. Sakharam, the play's namesake, is the pivotal character. An opportunistic male, a self proclaimed womanizer who loves to drink and doesn’t give a damn about social values. Like a predator preying on the weakest among the herd, he finds women abandoned by their husbands. Dishonored from society and unable to provide for themselves, Sakharam with his offer of a house to stay, two square meals, two set of clothes might at first seem like a savior. But it comes with a heavy price. An almost slave like existence under a tyrant master, who demands satisfaction of his hunger and other bodily needs and liberally uses his mouth for slander and hands for beating.

The play starts with Sakharam bringing home Laxmi, a timid soul, abandoned by her husband for not having kids. Of course Sakharam is exceptionally clear in telling her of what's involved, in an almost well practiced speech (apparently this is his seventh woman). We don’t know what happened with most of them, except that the previous one died of TB. And while talking about her we come across a side of Sakharam which seems almost human. Also what comes across is his hatred of the institution of marriage, husbands in particular. Therein lays the complexity of the character. The same person, who seems to hate marriage, tells each woman that he expects them to stay with him as if she is his married wife. The women are each free to leave him whenever they desire, yet as long as they live in the house they are not even supposed to talk or keep contact with anyone else. Is this irony just his selfish assumption of what a marriage should be or a mockery of that institution? There are subtle hints about his background, his childhood which make one wonder whether he too is just a victim of his past.

Laxmi seems to settle in with this way of life, working hard and making amends with her loneliness by talking to insects and birds. In her own simple ways she seems to bring about some changes in Sakharam, peeling the outermost layer at most. The inner demon however keeps coming out at the slightest instigation. The audience is kept wondering about this character. He seems to hate religious discrimination (an incident involving Laxmi and his Muslim friend, Dawood), appears tender enough to want to listen Laxmi's laugh but the effect is painful and chilling.  A year or so passes and Laxmi feels settled enough to complain about the hard work and any lack of regard. Sakharam in turn decides its time to send Laxmi packing. The departure is painful for Laxmi as she has almost started accepting this as her house.

And in comes a new 'bird', a fiery woman named Champa. She too is an abandoned woman like those before her. But unlike Laxmi she is not timid, silently obeying orders. Surprisingly Sakharam seems to take this in, if only dumbstruck by Champa's oozing sexuality. But she is not interested, telling him "I am not that kind of woman". On his insistence though she agrees, but drowning herself in alcohol first to hide the disgust. Things seem to settle in for Sakharam once again until one day Laxmi returns back, with nowhere else to go. He throws her out only to find Champa and Laxmi in alliance together, mutually in agreement for Champa to handle him and Laxmi to manage the house. Such a 'marriage' of convenience can only have disastrous effects.

Feeling that she has lost Sakharam and the house to Champa, Laxmi starts suspecting and secretly criticizing  Champa's character. Champa in turn accuses Sakharam of losing his 'masculinity' in presence of Laxmi. Riled by this accusation he tries throwing Laxmi out of the house. In a final twist Laxmi tells Sakharam of her suspicion about Champa (an affair with Dawood) which leads him to kill Champa in rage. The play ends with Laxmi convincing a shocked, mutely stricken Sakharam to bury Champa so no one finds out.

Laxmi's behavior at the end makes one question whether everything is just a game of survival, where love, innocence and gratitude are at stake. Champa's so-called affair is never truly proven. So, did Laxmi just make it up, drawing it up as an ace to win the final game? Did Champa agree to take in Laxmi hoping to divert Sakharam's attention from herself? Does the society hate Sakharam for being a wolf, calling himself a wolf and wandering as such? What about the wolves (husbands) who hide themselves in a lamb's skin (marriage) silently preying on the flock? Does society purposefully turn a blind eye towards them, licensing any abuse under the garb of marriage?  These and much more questions that one is made to ask themselves. That is the strength of Tendulkar's play.

Personally I do seemed to notice some flaws (they may not appear so to others). One such is the presence of Champa's husband. I doubt how much value his character adds to the play. I don’t think anything would have lost with the total absence of that character from the play. Second is Champa's blatant physical display, almost making it a tease in spite of her own admittance of disgust at physical relationship. Is she just unaware of her sexuality? Her character seems smart enough that she would be conscious of it. Laxmi's dialogues with the insects and birds seem to be somewhat overdone in the script (I agree though that they are a delight for the actor to play and the audience to watch). Maybe it is so to bring out her feelings to the audience or to emphasize her loneliness. I wonder whether Tendulkar could have brought it out more subtly.

The biggest tool of the play is the shock treatment that Tendulkar uses, not just through the play's subject but through the character's language, actions, behavior, conflicts. I seem to be in dual minds as to whether this works for or against the play. It seems the former in most instances but apparently enough people were shocked and took exception to it (based on some reactions in the audience when I saw it, this still seems to be true). Maybe that’s what Tendulkar had in mind. Also I wonder how much of it was contributed by the play's original director, Kamlakar Sarang, in his treatment of the play, interpretation of characters and its depiction on stage. (I have seen comments from no other than theater veteran Vijaya Mehta, about how director Jabbar Patel's choice of form, for another of Tendulkar's play 'Ghashiram Kotwal', feels overpowering the content)

I am unfortunate enough not to have seen the original play so I cannot make any comparisons with the recent production. But it is my guess that it has its heavy influence. That said all the main actors, Sayaji Shinde, Sonali Kulkarni and Chinmayee Sumit do a truly amazing job, perfectly slipping into their roles.

Lastly the question comes of relevance of the play as of today. Only in the recent years the Indian Supreme court has ruled that cohabitation out of wedlock is legal. Divorce/ remarriages are much more common. More women are independent, so as not to fall prey to any social vultures. So at least that aspect seems somewhat dampened if not totally eliminated. However the survival game of every living being, where money, relations, emotions are freely traded, is very much in play as it has been throughout the history of mankind.  So every generation is bound to have a Laxmi, a Champa and a Sakharam amongst it, in some form or other no matter what.

Suresh Nair
 (Apr - 2010)